Fool.

So I was still hoping
Like counting sands in the desert
I may see only a little bit hope
But this hope gave me strength
Strength to break me apart or
The strength that pick me up

But as long as there's hope
Why can't I hope?
Is it wrong to do so?
Or am I being so depending?

I know I make myself suffer by hoping
But why can't I hope for happiness?
Am I not allowed to have happiness?
How can I easily forget someone who gave me so much to remember? Who gave me happiness?
I don't mind suffering a little
Because now or later
When I finally know the truth
Then I'll stop hoping
Even if it may take time
I'll realize that it is a must anyway

Tbh, I am too scared to face reality
I don't know am I becoming a timid
Or am I becoming a coward now
So both are just the same actually
Both are fool who run away and deny the truth
I don't want to
But I am scared

What can I do when I have no courage to see you on the face now?
What can I do when I have no courage to call your name?
What can I do when I have no courage to text you?
What can I do when I have no courage to walk near you?
I am scared you'll ignore me
I am scared you care no more
I am scared you'll find me annoying
What should I do then?

What should I do...